There are endless nights when we are in trains traveling that I feel lost in my own thoughts. One must wonder if the beauty of nature, of the stars, of the things I consider beautiful will last forever. As such I also wonder, at a given moment, if our unhappiness or happiness will last forever. Sometimes, things are short lived.
Yet, we still hope. We still dream. For these emotions are the reasons why we keep on living. We strive to live for another second, another hour or days. Yet, I fear the day when you have to live because you just have to. I fear emptiness.
As I travel from place to place, I am trying to take as much as I can. Beauty presents itself differently and it is how it communicates to us that we choose what we keep.
I still ask myself if I am really living? Is traveling living? Van Gogh said it is working one’s way through an invisible iron wall that seem to stand between what one feels and what one can do. But then, how do you break the wall? How do you bridge the gap?
Sometimes, I romanticize my lost soul by thinking there are things best left because once conquered, the magic disappears. That it’s okay to feel lost. That it’s okay to just drift and wait for things to fall on their right places (if there is any such place to begin with).
For now, I just continue to hope and dream.
I sent this email to a Greek friend when we were traveling from Paris, France to Verona, Italy.