How We Lose What We Have

 It wasn’t about the unanswered calls or short messages. Or sudden business meetings to cancelled dinner dates. It wasn’t about how busy our lives now that we can’t even have a decent conversation without checking our phones for missed calls and emails. It wasn’t about these. It wasn’t about time or broken schedules.

It wasn’t about you shouting publicly to a waitress for bringing a latte when you specifically ordered an espresso. It wasn’t about how you’ve become snob and condescending to people we used to identify ourselves with. It wasn’t about you flirting to other girls because I find it harmless and almost comical. It wasn’t about them. It wasn’t about other people.

It wasn’t about how you hated mornings or that feeling of obligation to have breakfast with me. It wasn’t about  why you no longer have breakfast with me. And I sit alone, cold and indifferent. It wasn’t how you love dogs and I don’t. Or how you find cats to be funny and cute. Or why you want to move to a bigger place when clearly, ours is cozy and perfect. It wasn’t about that. It wasn’t about our differences.

It was about us growing apart even though we’re together. It was about us no longer saying I love yous to each other. It was about us no longer having the same passion we used to have. Of no longer talking about our future together but being excited to share each other’s future apart. Maybe, I did this – losing what we have. Maybe, we both did it. So, I still talk about us, even though, there is no longer us even before we both realize. We lose what we had because we let it happen to ours.