I apologize in advance for today and the rest of the future. I apologize if you’ll have your brows shoot up above normal. I apologize if I’ll get into your nerves and ruffle some of your fancy feathers. I apologize if I’ll get into your skin and stain your face with a red tomato look. I apologize if I will drive you nuts with my annoying, awkward foolishness. So, you see, I apologize in advance if you will get affected with me being me.
I apologize in advance because I will make dumb jokes or forced niceties. I might twist stories or make white lies to ease off tense situations. I might make you cry for my awkward testimonials. You might even hate me for telling jokes or funny stories you don’t want to let our friends know. Or for that sarcastic reply I gave you the other day. You might call me insensitive, dense and selfish. So, I am reaching out and telling you in advance that I apologize.
I apologize in advance for I might come strong and fierce. I might force my views on your throats taking you at gunpoint. I apologize because you might think I am fabricating issues from everything even if for laugh’s sake. The thing is I don’t. Behind my laughter, sarcasm and funny banter is my ability to pinpoint immaturity. Just don’t go there. Don’t. Unless you lock yourself in your own room and stare at your own mirrors. See that? That is one immature baby staring back at you.
I hope that despite of all these, you would be considerate in allowing my apologies to lessen the effects of my actions. Never clouding your judgment. I hope you’d still want my carefree yet crazy company. I hope that you’d still speak well of me even though I didn’t attend that shitty movie night reruns or I am so picky on things that matter in life or I always ask for free lunch even though there is none.
But then, this is me so I am taking all my apologies back. Suck it.